中考作文练兵场之兴趣篇三

Dear Mum，

The purpose of this letter is to convey to you my sincere apologies for the irrational argument last night.(开头有新意但过于商务化，有点像商务信函) I shouldn't have retorted so bad words on you（改为have talked back to you）. If I could perhaps explain the circumstances, not as an excuse but so you can see the great benefits I would derive from playing the guitar. （此句和首句有共同特点，太过正式了）

One of the reasons is that music gives me so much joy that l am willing to practice playing the guitar diligently（改为as hard as I could）. Another reason why I really want to learn playing the guitar (改为it) is it can improve my music cultivation（改为sense of music）. Furthermore, in order that（一般不放在句首改为Since） playing the guitar makes me look cool, I can gain confident（gain confidence） in front of my friends.

I promise that learning the guitar won’t affect my school life. And what is more, it is just like the icing on the cake. So, I request you to let me learn it.（修改一下还是过于正式）

Yours love

Stella

分析：本文的style太过正式，这是一封写给妈妈的信，有些大词大句要控制好哦。 加油。

Dear mum,

I’m feeling deeply sorry for last night’s argument with you about whether to invent some gizmos in my spare time.

I’ve thought of many things.（删掉） I shouldn’t （加have）yelled at you when you against what I’m thinking（删掉）. But one thing I must say is that I’ve never been repentant for persevering my dream of becoming an inventor,（becoming an inventor has always been my dream） although I know you are worried about my lessons（school results）.

Inventing gizmos won’t be impact on my lesson. （改为I want to do this for many reasons）Most important of all（改为First）, inventing things can improve our creativity and scientific skills. Moreover, （结构词用得好）the only thing you worried（are worried about） is I’ll addict myself to it（get addicted）. I promise I can manage myself and arrange time（改为manage my time） reasonably. Now, will you be at ease?（删掉） Finally, becoming an inventor like Tomas Edison is a dream when I was a child and （加it）never change（changed）, I must finish it!

Mum, I know the everything you did （have been doing）is for my better future. I won’t make you disappointed. I will be more hardworking, for you and for me（myself）.（我喜欢你的结尾）

                                       Yours sincerely, 

                                       Li Hua

Millie

分析：非常有意思，你已经能很熟练的使用从句来描述自己的想法，继续加油，注意语言的简练哦。 可以得高分了。